A letter of apology….

marathon

Running is a selfish sport.  

There I said it.  I spend more time than you want to know thinking about food, clothing, pace, heart rate, routes, races, training methods….  Part of each day is spent either training or planning my next training session.  I eat for fuel.  I sleep to get stronger.  I lift and do core work to run longer.  I meal plan.  I snack all day.  I weigh myself to ensure I am not losing too much weight.  I read about gear.  I try new gear.  I spend HOURS in the woods.

Selfish. 

That being said, I am openly saying something that most people close to me know.  I do not have kids and will not have kids.  Don’t get me wrong, I love children.  I spent a fair amount of my career working with kids.  I love my friend’s kids.  It just isn’t for us.  Eric and I are on the same page on this one.  So instead of having kids, I have running.  And mountains.  I put the same level of dedication and love into my training and exploring as I would a child.  Ok, that is a bold statement.  I am sure some people are screaming at me right now that I have no idea what I am talking about.  You are right…. but for me… this is second to only Eric for me.  It’s all relative.  It is my baby.

All that being said, I must apologize to those in my life affected by my baby… aka running.

To my husband: I adore you.  But we both know you will never run with me, nor understand the energy that pulses through me when I really challenge myself.  You have gotten so good about doing your best to understand and no longer flinch or even question some of my running expeditions.  I appreciate you more than you will ever know.   I am so sorry I leave you for 6-8 hours at a time to tackle a mountain.  I am so sorry my latest recipe choices are not exactly “manly meals.”  I am sorry our house sometimes get a little messier than intended (due to my failure to clean!  I can only use the “I had to run” excuse so much).  Along the same lines, I am sorry I own 4 pairs of current running shoes (two more hidden in the closet) and my running gear is quite literally everywhere!

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To my non-running friends:  Sometimes I suck as a friend.  I don’t return calls.  I suck at meeting up for coffee or meals.  I have replaced you with mountains and Honey Stinger Waffles.  Replace is a harsh word….. I am just spending time with those things instead.  It’s not that I don’t love you… cause I do…. but unless you plan on trekking into the woods with me, I may not see you until October when my training season is over.  Please know I think of you often.  When I am not running, I am working.  When I am not working, I am sleeping.  Or eating.  That takes up about 24 hrs.  I know… life is too short.  Well that statement could not be more true.

running-is-hard-to-explain

To my parents:  See above.  Because my parents pushed me to be an outdoor child from a very young age, I have turned into a very outdoor woman.  I blame them 🙂

To my co-workers:  I apologize for my ability to work running into ANY conversation.  For example… “Heather can you do X, Y and Z?”  “Sure.  Did you know I am going running today?”  Yeah, it’s pretty much like that.  These poor people have only known me for six months and definitely know I am not quite right.  I was referred to as the “athletic one” the other day.  That was actually shocking.  Never ever have I considered myself an athlete so that was very cool.  Thankfully ONE co-worker runs so we can chat about running and shoes and workouts.  That helps satisfy my fix.

To Lise:  I apologize for stealing Fish Stick.  But…. he is the only one crazy enough to run long distance with me.  I promise to buy him a puffy jacket!!!!!

Done!!!

And this is one reason I do this!

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6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. vttrailgirl
    Feb 01, 2014 @ 23:23:01

    This is sooooo spot on. I am right here with you on this one. You rock.
    My chiropractor called me an ‘athlete’ this week. I almost looked around to see who she was talking about.. No one has ever called me athlete.

    Reply

  2. runningwithsam
    Feb 02, 2014 @ 00:46:48

    Oh my gosh, this is a perfect post! Especially down to the not having kids, that is me and my husband as well.

    Reply

  3. limaromeobravo
    Feb 02, 2014 @ 01:11:08

    No apologies necessary, especially when I get to rendezvous with you guys at Frank Jones!

    Reply

  4. Fishstick
    Feb 02, 2014 @ 13:30:13

    How come I don’t get an apology?! -Kidding aside Great post. Nailed it on the head. I think so many people can relate.

    Reply

  5. sharpee
    Feb 02, 2014 @ 15:27:33

    Make sure that puffy jacket has some nice pastel colors.
    And a snack pocket!

    Reply

  6. Mind Margins
    Feb 04, 2014 @ 16:44:49

    So true. Running can be a very selfish endeavor, but the rewards are worth it. I try to tone down the running talk when I’m around my nonrunning friends, but it’s almost like having to squash down a large part of who I am.

    Reply

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